Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Purple Water and Pink Poodles

Hey, maybe writing this down and being accountable to the entire Internet is helping...

Tonight, I had my "last treat".

A Pecan Mudslide from Dairy Queen which is my all time favorite. The fact that I'm lactose intolerant and will, therefore, be as sick as a dog by morning didn't slow me down at all.

I ignored the voices a few minutes ago and actually dug through the pantry, past all the goodies, to find the Acai berry powder to put into my water bottle. Pretty purple water. It smells funky though. Maybe I left it in there too long?

When I'm dead tomorrow, don't blame DQ y'all.

Now then. About the pink poodle. I did a ton of research on dog breeds and finally decided I wanted a toy poodle. The criteria was that the dog be small enough not to need a ton of exercise but large enough to walk a ways and withstand a bit of roughhousing with my two grandsons.

Oh, and it had to be smart enough to train. Poodles are the SECOND smartest of all dog breeds. Only Border Collies are higher ranked. We once owned a beautiful Samoyed that was so inbred it couldn't learn the most basic command.

So, after all the hours (days) of research I went to Magrath on April 19th to pick up my wonderful pup, Tikki the Toy Poodle. I immediately sent for some proper dog books from the Dog Whisperer and read half of "Be the Pack Leader". All very sage advice and I was prepared to raise the perfectly behaved and well adjusted dog.

Unfortunately, being the lazy piece of baggage I tend to be, I let all his training slide and now have a spoiled little 5 month old puppy. Who I have currently dyed (with Kool-Aid) a pretty candy floss pink.

Last night after dinner I noticed some unusual activity over at my kitchen island. I had left some smokies there after barbequing them, and in typical lazy fashion, hadn`t put them away or done the dishes yet.

I could hear a scrabbling noise on the hardwood floor but since the couch is in front of the island, I couldn't see what was going on. Suddenly, it appeared,

A pink poodle head.

Then it disappeared.

And immediately reappeared.

Tikki was jumping for the plate of food. He is 13 inches high. The counter is 38 inches high and he was jumping straight up in the air and clearing it! He just couldn`t figure out how to get the plate from the middle of the island. Yet.

I could write volumes on all of his little antics. They`re not all as cute as you would assume the antics of a pink poodle would be, either. Like the time he ate my two-hundred dollar C-Pap mask as well as eating a hole in the replacement mask 10 minutes after I unwrapped it. Or when he dug holes in our custom-made living room set. I've seen dorm furniture in better shape.

Tonight when Tikki was running around and tearing things up in our little teeny condo Someone I have been married to for the past 29 years said, "He`s not really working out, is he?"

That Broke. My. Heart. since I know it's me who has let everyone down.

Tomorrow, sore back or not, I`m taking that poodle for a couple of nice long walks. It will get some of the P & V out of him and some of the calories burned off of me.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'd better get off the computer.

Tikki wants to check his e-mail and update his Facebook account.

**word to the wise, you cannot keep Acai powder indefinitely. It goes musty.
And tastes like butt.


  1. This cracked me up. I have this vision in my head of a pink poodle jumping straight up in the air.... OMG!!

    Poodles rank second only to Border Collies? So I can do the "nananananana - my dog's smarter than your dog" LOL -- Well, partly smarter, 'cause she's not a purebred Border Collie. How do Australian Shepherds and Beagles rank? Those are the other breeds in her! :)

  2. I'm certain your dog is smarter than my dog. He would preety much have to be with the responsibility of leading ranch tours and riding herd (oh, I crack me up!) on all those cows.

    We had a Blue Heeler in the Okanagan on the "ranch" my dad had. It was a small acerage with a milk cow and her calf as well as a few of the neighbour's horses to help keep the pasture cropped down.

    His name was "Blue". They named him before I moved there when I was 12. I would have voted for "Faith". He was a brilliant dog.

    Thanks for posting my very first comment Bag Lady. And the link.

    i feel all official now that I have a reader. Yay!!!

  3. Why do people insist on naming Blue Heelers "Blue"? It's so... so.... common!
    I would name it Foot. Or something. Sheesh.
    (Oh, and to prove how smart my dog is? She runs to the house if we are doing anything with the cattle! "I'm getting the hell outta Dodge!" is her motto!)

    And good job with the blog - keep it up!