Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Apologies all around

Well, I never!

I had a great post for you dealing with my heinous MIL who took it upon herself to place a picture of the step-great grandchildren into the lovely personalised frame that Wonderful Daughter and I bought for my long suffering father in law. The frame says "I heart Grandpa".

But, I cannot retreive the post and have moved on.

First, news... she leaves again May 18th. I am counting the days.

In her latest heinery... yes, I am making up words, she has decided the other son's family needs her constant care and attention. Which, you would think, I would welcome. The only fly in the ointment is that she is now waiting, pacing, for an invitation to a birthday party they are due to hold. It has been delayed because our niece was moving over the past weekend.

Three weeks ago, I asked FIL if he would like it if Wonderful Daughter and I cooked a turkey dinner this coming weekend. He was delighted and accepted. I made sure I told the MIL from hell when she returned. Sometimes he forgets to catch her up on what is going on.

This past Sunday, she informed me she sure hopes the birthday party isn't planned for this weekend, because she would "hate to have to reschedule Saturday's dinner".

Huh?! Did I miss something? Is it somehow acceptable to cancel your original plans when something better comes along? It's not like we'll be throwing a pizza pop or two in the oven and calling it dinner. This is turkey with all the trimmings. Kind of a bit of an undertaking, at least for me.

Conversely, it's a party for a two year old. My in-laws are his great grandparents. During the last month when my MIL was away, my FIL was invited over exactly once, when he went for Easter dinner. They never found the time to drive the 30 minutes it would take to come and see him at any time during the month. WD and I counted and we had a meal with him 7 times, not including just stopping by for a visit.

I propose the odd notion the show can go on without them in attendance. There is plenty of other family to be in attendance. Or, perhaps they could hold the party on Sunday if she explained the conflict in her hectic social life. Besides which, it hasn't even been confirmed the party is this weekend anyways! She'd better let me know her plans by tomorrow.

We have Penelope and Gordon coming on Sunday for curry and next weekend is booked for a small dinner party here.

And, if she does pull this. she'd better not ever expect another invitation.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Mother In Law Chicanery

blogger ate my witty (whiney) post...so this is a work in progress

Tuesday, April 20, 2010


Mother in Law comes back from her month in Saskatchewan tonight. Her broom lands just after 10 pm.

And that, is all I have to say about that.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Such a Good Girl!

Well, I am back walking again. I joined a walking challenge Dawn at Fixing Myself Thinner has devised. Too bad I totally have misplaced my pedometer here in the teeny tiny condo. Tikki is refusing to leap into action as a search and rescue dog. Danggit.

It feels good to be actively walking again and I must say, reading over my old posts here, I can easily see what some of my weight problems are. Last night, as the Nameless Man and I went for a stroll, I tried talking to him about why I sabotage myself. He didn't have much insight to offer, but knowing he supports me wholeheartedly helps more than any words could say.

Now I just need to faithfully work on the issues I noticed. Number 1 I think, no more crap food in the house. Despite my highly developed "Mom Hearing", even I can't hear cookies and crap food call to me from the grocery store. My downfall this past week was the chocolate mini eggs and Cadbury eggs I bought on sale "for the grandkids". No more of that nonsense!

Sure wish I could recall the password for the weight loss ticker. I might be permanently stuck on 11 pounds lost.

Saturday, April 17, 2010


Oh My! Oh My Gravy (as they exclaim on this season's Amazing Race)!
Wonderful Daughter called a few minutes ago with Amazing News...

The soon-to-be-ex husband left her a voice mail message today. How he got her unlisted highly protected phone number remains a mystery and is beside the point right now.

He called to say... wait for it... he will not oppose the divorce any longer. She has been set free!

So, closure on this chapter of her life is imminent. Hopefully now, he will stop stalking her and threatening her with violence. I don't know if I already mentioned this, but the last time (and there have been several times) he violated what you would know as a restraining order and was arrested for it, he was sitting in her driveway, late at night, with a hunting knife in his pocket.

There have been other instances since then but that was the last time he actually got arrested for it. She has been through hell.

Hopefully his latest move is the beginning of an amicable end.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

The Heat is On!

I just did the math yesterday (and then called my long-suffering father in law to double check since referring to my mathimatical calculations as "skills' would be a big fat lie) and realized my in-laws Golden wedding anniversary isn't in the autumn of 2011...it's next October!

Yes, the Nameless Man's parents are still together after all these years. Although, we're fairly certain they don't love each other. (ba dum bum)
My parents realized long ago they might love each other but they sure as heck couldn`t live together so they divorced within 2 years after I was born. Then, my dad died when I was 18 but that`s another (long winded) story.

For their 40th anniversary, my heinous MIL advised me they would like a party and handed me a guest list. So, like the chumpy doormat I am, the Nameless Man and I rented the upper room of our favourite restaurant, hired a D.J. and had a nice sit down meal for about 30 or so... final bill was about $800 each for the Nameless Man and his brother. Nameless Man and I took care of the venue and DJ, the brother only had to pay for half of the dinner. Somehow, their half sister didn't attend or contribute...maybe because she didn't attend? Wish I'd thought of that!

Anyway, back to yesterday. Once the heart palpitations stopped, I realized I don't want to put on another fancy party. I really don't. For several reasons:

1) I don't enjoy my MIL. Not one bit. Her passive aggressive nonsense has gone on for almost 30 years (more on the 30 years later) and I am heartily sick of her. She actually got worse about 15 years ago when she fell backwards while ice-skating on the lagoon with Wonderful Daughter (who swears she never pushed her... I taught her well, she was going to wait until later in the year, once the ice melted before she did any pushing..."let's go feed the ducks grandma..., oops!") and sustained an undiagnosed closed head injury. I have diagnosed her based on observing her horrible behaviour! She was a pain before that, but became intolerable afterwards. And, unlike fine wine, she does not get better with age!

2) They have no friends. Nope, no friends. Due to her stellar personality, they have absolutely no one to hang out with, go to dinner with, go to a show with, have over to play cards...nuthin! She used to have a lovely friend who would go shopping with her and bike riding and tennis but, unfortunately, she drove her off. The final straw for her friend, after years of snide remarks and hurtful comments, was when she showed up to go shopping in a (gasp!) clean, unstained T-shirt she had just pulled from the dryer and pulled on. The friend said she thought the T-shirt would be okay to go shopping in, since she saw plenty of other women her age wearing them in the mall. MIL conceded, yes other women DID wear T-shirts in public, but unlike her friend, they "weren't too lazy to iron theirs first"! This poor gal suffered from low self esteem in the first place...anyways, that was the end.

3) Their family doesn't enjoy them either. The last time I saw Nameless Man's very sweet aunt, who was staying with the in-laws for the weekend along with her adorable new Chihuahua puppy, in a space of less than 15 minutes, my MIL had advised Auntie her beloved puppy looked like a rat, was fat and was spoiled. Right about then I would be training my Chihuahua to go fetch a ladder and lunge for her throat. Nah, I would have just entertained visions of punching her in the throat myself. (I never take Tikki over there for this very reason. He'd do it too! And, I would allow it.) So...who would we invite?! It was tough to get enough numbers to come to their 40th. How pathetic would it be to arrange a big 50th and have less than 30 people show up? BTW, we, the brother and his family along with Nameless Man and our progeny, number 16 of those possible 30 attendees. Where I could round up another 14 is beyond me. And FIL has 4 other siblings! With big Mormon families. No, we are not members.

4) MIL's only sibling is in the process of dying from cancer. Now that MIL is spending every other month in Saskatchewan caring for her, all 4 of her nieces and their families have gotten to know MIL a lot better. So they wouldn't come.

5) Our 30th anniversary is in 2011 and I would love to go on a cruise. We haven't had a vacation since W.D.'s Troubles with the soon-to-be-ex began so a cruise would be great! Hopefully she will have seen the last of that gentleman and can meet a hunky cruise boat captain who would like nothing more than to provide his new, fabulous in-laws with semi annual cruises to exotic locales where they would bask in the sun on white sandy beaches, while sipping tall cold alcoholic...erm, sorry...where was I? Oh yes, a vacation would be nice for our 30th. So if we shell out all our disposable income (bwah ha ha, "Disposable Income", oh, my sides! I am wiping the tears of mirth away so I can finish this post) there would be nothing left in the kitty by August of 2011.

5) Last time, Wonderful Daughter and I did all the work. We printed matching invitations and envelopes along with reply cards. We made all the arrangements. We did all the shopping and decorating. We handled it all. Because SHE wanted a party. Ugh. Wonderful daughter has enough on her plate without worrying about a party. Although she does enjoy organizing (bossing) and does a stellar job of it. If the Thrid Reich had had her in charge, things would have gone quite a bit differently. I envision us all greeting one another with `Heil` while wearing really nice shoes!

6) We are not "fancy party" people. We are "BBQ with a beer and frisbees" people. My MIL watched too much Dynasty and Falcon Crest in the 80's and it addled her brain. Move over Angela Channing... we have a new family matriarch.

7) We are all busy trying to survive the economic downturn and help out our own kids and grandkids. No one is into spending a bundle on another party. At least I know I don`t. And, since brother and his family rarely see the in-laws, even though we all live in the same city, I can hazard a guess they wouldn`t be into it either.

So, I am waiting for the Nameless Man to phone his younger brother to run it past him, but we think a nice family dinner for the 18 of us at a nice restaurant at a golf resort in the Rocky Mountains would suffice. Just picture it, great views, like the picture at the top, and fabulous food, along with a tastefully framed family portrait of us "kids" and our families. Wouldn't that be nice? Even though the food wouldn't be harmonious with her many (imaginary) allergies, and the picture frame would clash with her garage sale decorating treasures.

The Rustica Steakhouse at the Silvertip resort has a fixed price menu with several choices for an appy, main and dessert along with one bottle of wine for $90 to $110 per couple. The projected cost for dinner for 7 couples and some kids, around $800 - $900 and then $200 - $300 for framed pictures if we get them shot outdoors. Hopefully brother's budget would allow for 50/50 this time around, but even if not, we would split it 2 ways. I like the sound of this. Your opinion please?

And, let me assure you, before you even mention it, the fact the family portrait would be shot weeks in advance and NOT include her never even crossed my mind...

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The Alzheimer's Cleared up!

WOW!!! I can't believe it took me this long to recall my password for my blog... okay, I'm totally lying! It took me THIS LONG to figure out how to reset the dang thing!

I have SO much to catch you up on...and apparently I SHOUT ALL THE TIME NOW!! Perhaps I've gone deaf, you know how they overcompensate...

Bad memory and deaf...sounds like your great aunt with the hairs growing out of her chin and the lingering Noxema scent.

So...catching you up since December...

Where to begin...? I basically got an awesome Aero Garden from my MIL as a gift for doing one million things for her. Yep, I sold my soul to the evil MIL so I can grow crap indoors. So far, I've grown a whack of Basil, Chives and killed off 2 batches of thyme. Hmmm...Forgetful, Deaf, Herb Killer... how is that gonna look on a resume? Good thing I already have a job.
Until Wonderful Daughter comes to her senses, that is.

Tikki is no longer pink and has been Extreme Groomed which is code for shaved to within an inch of his life by a great gal named Jess. She came to the house and got him all cleaned up for me. It cost me $80 big ones. Why did I pay $80 for a service I could get for under $50 everywhere else? Just doing my bit to stimulate the economy...lol. Because she comes to the house and because my spoiled little man turned out to be a viscious biter. So much so that we had to wrap him in towel to restain him from hurting himself (or puncturing Jess). Then, he got so freaked out, he messed the towel. So make that the price for grooming $60 plus $20tip, plus new bath sheet. But he sure looks purty!

Wonderful Daughter and I have been able to hire a new girl. She is awesome! We love her and we hope to keep her schedule so full that in turn she loves us and we love her and she loves that we love her.

I started a Facebook account that turned out to be a bit more than I could handle... I met and made a great couple of friends there. Unfortunately, I developed a Yoville addiction and had to completely give it all up. I tried limiting myself to an hour a day, no dice. Then, I tried just logging on to play Friday evenings but I wanted to be on more to see what was new, who was on, what was going on...you get the picture. So, I gave up my cool Yoville apartment, my great Victorian style house, my extensive virtual wardrobe including a top hat W.D. paid $40,000 yocoins for, my virtual poodle and all my cool, great, fantastic virtual stuff in my fake Yoville life.

I really miss visiting with my Facebook buddies but it's nice to have more time for my real life friends and family. As soon as the weather clears up, I'm going to start walking Tikki regularly again.

Which will tie in well with my last bit of news...I regained the eleven pounds I had lost by December and then gained some more to max out at 207. Then, I found the magic secret and lost TWELVE WHOLE POUNDS!!! Yes, I know, enough with the shouting already. I finally found a way of life. Not a diet. I can't stay on a diet. That's how I got up to 207. Yes, that's a weight, not a year.
I finally smartened up, stopped taking diet pills and looking for a quick fix and found a way of life that ultimately, long term, will result in me reaching my target weight.
Which is in the 130 neighbourhood.

I am now following the South Beach Diet which, at this phase (2) means loads of fresh vegetables, fruit, low fat dairy, cheese and lean meats. I don't get much sugar, potatoes or white rice. The weight is coming off, very slowly. I strive to lose a maximum of 2 pounds a week. Once the snow is finally gone here in my neck of the woods, I will begin interval walking with Tikki. Then I can lose a bit more each week, but from diet alone, 2 pounds per week is the most i can take off without hurting myself long term.

So, expect more boring weight loss effort blog posts. And other miscellaneous brain dribble. Hey, it could have been worse...I could have filled you in on all the goings on in Yoville. Luckily for you, we all agreed what happens in Yoville, stays in Yoville.

Oh, one last thing. Dawn, over at Fixing Myself Thinner ( I have forgotten how to do a link...) HIT HER GOAL WEIGHT!!!!! And then she PASSED it!!! Now, that's truly something to shout about! Yay Dawn! Congratulations on being crowned a Queen at TOPS. Your pictures looked great and you inspire me!